^This is the tornado that hit my community on April 27, 2011.

A few Saturdays ago, I drove to my sister's house for an anniversary party and along the way, I saw a section of road that still lay in ruin after April's Fury ripped through my community over two months ago. It didn't look like much cleanup had occurred. I don't know if it was lack of money or insurance. There were two or three chicken houses still in ruin. Dozens of white chickens littered the field, feeding along side a few cows. Sights like this never cease to amaze me.

But even on the main highway in Rainsville, there had been so much destruction to begin with that even now, it is still in such a shape that debris lay in piles along the side of the street waiting for pick up. Most of the uprooted trees have been cleared but it doesn't erase the evidence of what happened. Along the path of the deadly tornado that swept through Rainsville, trees look like the top halves and branches have simply been snapped off. In the bright of summer, these trees are just sticks standing in the ground. Having seen the destruction from a smaller tornado that ripped through Geraldine only a year before, I know those trees won't have branches for a long time.

The tornado from the video above came within FEET of where two of my sisters live. They had only minimal damage considering that 98% of the homes on their street were destroyed and where a dozen, if not more, people lost their lives.

Remembering...

I have to write this because the tornado on the video above impacted my life so much, just as I'm sure it has so many other people in this area. Now I can't look at a darkened sky the same way ever again. At the mere sign of a storm, I get on the computer and start looking at the radar images. And when I'm away from home and can't seem to get any other information, I'm texting one of my sisters to see if a warning is out.

A few days ago, there was a rare moment when my hubby and I had the opportunity to go out without kids. The sky suddenly turned ominous followed by hard rain, lightening, thunder. I couldn't enjoy myself. I kept my eyes glued to the sky watching for rotation. I texted my sisters and flipped through radio stations in an effort to see if we needed to take cover.

And my kids... I was so worried about them. They were with my stepdaughter. I know they are in good hands with her but I couldn't help but worry about all of them anyway.

The dreams

Since that day in April, I've had probably a handful of dreams centered around tornadoes, often times multiple tornadoes, coming right after me or me and my kids. Sometimes I can get us to safety, sometimes I don't and I wake up just as the twister barrels down on us.  Sometimes I'm safe but someone I love is sucked up and I can't help them.  All I can do is watch and cry.

The fix?

I don't know that there is one. In time, I suppose I might not be so sensitive to a dark sky and in time, the dreams might subside. I can't fathom that just yet but we'll see. I don't imagine it would do anyone any good to pretend that we haven't been scarred by it.

As time goes on, I'm sure things will get better but not just yet.  Blessings to everyone who has been affected by those storms and who are still trying to pick up the pieces.

-Pamela

I've written before on the subject of self publishing and the reasons you shouldn't self publish. Today, I'm going to touch on something similar. We all know that one of the reasons authors decide to self publish is because of rejection from traditional publishers. That's fine. There's nothing that says just because your novel was rejected by a traditional publisher that it's bad. I believe there are many fine self published authors out there. But there's something I want to make clear to those who haven't done it yet but are considering it.

 If you are self publishing because you just can't handle the rejection, then you need to reconsider. Why? Because any rejection you can possibly get is not going to be near as bad as some of the reviews you'll get once you're published out there. And trust me. If you write long enough, there will be that one person (or more!) who like to pound nails into your heart by writing how horrible your work is. And they will not hold back. AT. ALL.


So how do you differentiate between just being tired of rejections to not being able to handle rejections? First, what is your reaction to a rejection? If your primary response is anger, then it's probably a sign that you aren't equipped to handle a rejection yet. That's not to say that you will never be but just imagine that rejection coupled with a detailed look at everything that is wrong with your novel. If you are getting angry at a single rejection, what would you do with a negative review? And if you retaliate with either, you end up looking like an unprofessional fool; the exact opposite of what you are trying to accomplish.

So really take stock of why you're self publishing before you actually do it. It's a heavy commitment and if you aren't doing it for the right reasons, you will fail. If you take every rejection personally, then you will likely take negative reviews personally, too.

I understand that it's hard not to take it personally, even for those of us who have been doing this a long time. How you react to it is the key here.

Best wishes to all of you.

"Theory of a Tramp" wasn't just some epiphany that came to me in the middle of a dream. (And yes, I've had those.)  I was actually actively using brainstorming techniques to come up with a viable story.  I used a picture prompt.  I flipped through more than a dozen pictures until one spoke to me.  See the picture up top there?  That's the talking picture.  Not literally.  I'd like not to be committed today, thank you.

Looking at the pic, you see rust.  Apparently there was some water damage.  So my brain started churning.  What could've caused such a mess?  That led to an image of an over-flowing bathtub.  What if someone had drowned in that tub?  How did they drown and why?  One thought continued to lead to another until I had the premise of the story.  Two rewrites and an editor's pick later, the story was finished.  I sent it to a couple of test readers and I got a few "Didn't see that one coming!" remarks which is high praise in my book.  That's how the process worked for me. 

If you're interested in purchasing a copy, click here for the options.  I hope you enjoy it and thank you for reading!